My neck, my back, my laptop and my hacks

When I travel, my body reacts the same way every time, and I always forget. I should really leave myself a note. 

Here is the note to me.

(There is a little bit TMI in the following note, but we're all humans, right? RIGHT?!)

Dear Self,

Wear sunblock when driving long distances. Remember the time you drove from California to Mount Rushmore and after the first couple of days you were like, "Why does my face hurt so much at the end of a long day? And why is it so red?" Sunburn! And remember when you bought that flannel shirt from some random shop in the middle of nowhere just to tuck it in your driver's side window to block the sun because you just couldn't take it anymore? Wear sunblock and maybe wear long sleeved shirts.

Don't forget to pack a tennis ball for working out the kinks in your shoulder from driving a long time, or sleeping on a weird hotel pillow. Bring extra Advil for when your back hurts from driving for a long time, or sleeping on a weird hotel bed. I know you won't do this next thing but, for God's sake, stretch. It should help, though I have no proof of this since you never do it.

Try not to worry too much about why your throat is scratchy and your eyes are watery. You get allergies when you travel to new places. You are not getting sick. You are allergic to the world. Take Zyrek and tissues. Also, hotel air conditioning dries you out. Bring nasal spray if you want, but definitely bring chap stick. Lotion wouldn't hurt, but again, I know you won't do this. 

If you fly for more than an hour, you will get constipated for a few days. I know, that's not usually your problem in life, but flying does some dark arts magic to you and the first few days will be uncomfortable. Drink lots of water and eat your veggies. You will bloat and be generally sad about this, but it will work itself out and you can go back to being regular and happy for the second half of your trip.

Ok, remember when you were driving on Highway 50, aka The Loneliest Road in the America, and there was one bathroom for like 500 miles and you were nowhere near it? Remember that huge mound of dirt next to the road and what you did behind it? On day one of any long road trip, put a roll of toilet paper in your car. Also, I still love you, don't forget that.

If you're going to work from bed, because your hotel room doesn't have a desk, put your laptop on something that is not a pillow. You don't want it overheating. Try a room service tray or a book. Let that shit vent.

I know that was a lot. Here are some things you do well. I'm so proud of you!

You avoid gluten. Remember that time you went to New Orleans and threw caution to the wind, eating donuts and beignets? Those days are over. No more missing out on fun activities because you don't feel well. You figured it out! Good job!

You always load up on water. The first time you bought a case of water to keep with you, it was a genius moment. And on that same trip, you ended up miles deep in a lava field that you were pretty sure wasn't meant for a rental sedan. You hit a rock at like 5mph, but it shifted the whole car to the side and you had a moment of panic looking at the outside temperature (104, I believe) and were at least thankful for that case of water, in case you did damage to the undercarriage, which you did not, you lucky girl!

You don't go out at night alone. I don't remember this being a conscious choice, but I'm thankful for it. Sure, you might miss out on seeing city lights or a wild amount of stars, but you never find yourself in the middle of nowhere at midnight, alone and vulnerable. You are always well fed and safe in your hotel room by sunset, exhausted from a long day of exploring...and with hours to write your little blog.

Oh, you blog! I'm so glad you've been doing this since 2014 and I really hope the site never goes down because you've captured some amazing memories! I should probably look into backing these up. I'm going to go do that now. 

Keep up the good work! And stay safe!

OKC > Nunu's and Pops 66 Soda Ranch

Imagine you're watching the beginning of a movie, not quite sure what to expect and something pops up on the screen that let's you know you're seeing the future. That's this. But imagine it's future me, which is really past me because I'm writing this blog after the fact, explaining the memory of an even further past event.

...and that reminds me of the time I was at a friend's opulent wedding. My first ever wedding in Australia. It was at a big church, with amazingly curated grounds. Honestly, I can't tell you more detail about her dress or the priest, who I think was wearing a dress too (you know, those Catholic pullover deals), but my memory might be entirely fabricated, because, though I did snap about 100 pictures, I didn't have a memory card in my camera and noticed about 10 seconds before the actual ceremony when I turned bright red and put my camera down. 

Then flash to present me. (Camera pun?) Or maybe it's past me. First thing this morning. See, this is why I don't write scripts. I blame that on the time I was accepted to UC Santa Barbara to study English, because the film department didn't want me and I took a tour and everything with a friend from high school, but decided I really didn't want to have HIM as the only person I knew in SB, because I didn't really like him that much anymore, and on the day we were supposed to pack the car to move to UCSB, I decided I wasn't going and finished my already in-progress English degree from Cal State Hayward, where I had no friends and was perfectly fine with that. 

Omg. I think listening to this Jenny Lawson book is making me write like this. But she's (self-admittedly) very mentally unwell. Maybe I should talk to someone about that. Like my therapist on Thursday. 

I haven't even had one drink, you guys. This is just me and I haven't even started telling you the story of my day. It's probably because the highlight was blueberry soda. (That's what they call a teaser).

-----------------------------

Chapter One: My First Day in Oklahoma City

Seriously, I'm in some kind of mood to write a chapter heading to the middle of a blog post.

Alright, here's the story of my day in bullet points, because I know you're just here for the pictures (which I will deliver, despite the other teaser about the memory cardless wedding).

• Woke up at 9am CT
• Realized I put out the "please deliver coffee and breakfast to me" sign too late for them to act on it.
• Ordered and received coffee and a gluten free dessert...I mean breakfast. A delicious blueberry scone.
• Worked from my hotel room until lunch.
• Ordered lunch from a salad place, picked up lunch, drove back to the hotel. Realized 80% of the way back that I was OUT of blood sugar and started sweating.
• Made it back to my room in a full sweat with shakes. I guess coffee and a scone aren't what this incredibly strong (read: weak) body needs in the morning.
• Ate an INCREDIBLY delicious salad as fast as possible, while taking breaks to lay on the ground near the A/C in the hopes to stop sweating.
• Worked for the afternoon from my hotel room. 
• Looked incredibly good on Zoom. I guess a blood sugar crash does wonders for my complexion.
• Dinner....

Here is where I will properly start the story.

In the afternoon, I realized I might need an actual meal for dinner. I did a search for "Best Restaurants in OKC" and close to the top of the list was Nunu's Mediterranean Café located in the Tropical Cafe Smoothie building. Whatever that means. I ordered dinner online for pick up and jumped in my car, listening to more hilarious details about how Jenny Lawson's health insurance doesn't cover anything she needs and is a general hinderance to people with depression and suicidal ideation. Really light stuff, ya know? 

Anyway, on the 17 minute drive to this restaurant it hit me just how sprawling Oklahoma City is. I made some notes for myself on my phone. The highlights were:

"I've never driven to a city before and not known if I'd made it."

"No wonder OKC Ranks Unhealthiest Out Of America's 100 Largest Cities there is no incentive to walk anywhere. It's a mile from one store to another. Nothing is close to anything."

My GPS gave me directions to the back of a square tan building in a huge and empty parking lot. I was like "this can't be it". There were no signs for Nunu's, but I did notice the drive-thru for the smoothie place, so I figured out that I was BEHIND the building. 

I went in to pick up my food, and here's where I will mention that every restaurant, store, hotel, etc that I've been in Oklahoma City has employees wearing masks. HURRAH! But 90% of the patrons do not. BOO! Still, I wear mine when around people and no one seems to notice. I mean, I'm the dykiest thing they've seen in Oklahoma, so it's my hair they stare at while opening the door for me or politely getting out of my way. 

Proof of hair, from an odd angle. Anyway....

I grabbed my food and plugged into the GPS (and please know that I mean Google Maps, and not an actual GPS) Pops 66 Soda Ranch, because if I'm going to work all day, then I'm at least going to see one tourist attraction at night. And that's when I put my bag of food on the floor of the passenger's side of the car and drove 30 minutes to buy a soda. 

On the way, I had this sad feeling wash over me that Oklahoma roads (highways) are really boring. I'd been looking at Google Maps before embarking on this adventure, thinking "well, it's only 3 hours to Kansas, I might as well check another state of the list." But at that moment, between the Tropical Smoothie Cafe building and the soda joint, I wasn't looking forward to long drives up and down Oklahoma. 

That changed when I arrived at Pops 66 and realized that I was on THE Route 66. Pretty cool! 

At Pops there is a 66-foot neon pop bottle structure! (To be honest, I forgot that it was neon. I showed up during the day and did not see or hear the splendor of neon). Inside the store / restaurant / soda fountain there were old time soda bottles of all flavors and colors adorning the glass shelves and walls. I picked a blueberry soda from Maine and went to eat dinner in my car. 

I want to complain about the plastic bag from the restaurant because it was tied with two knots, taped shut and then stapled shut but I Hulk Hogan'd my way into it and pulled out my Styrofoam containers of maybe the most delicious Lebanese/Mediterranean food I've ever had the pleasure of eating. I'd never had a cabbage wrap before and it made me do that thing you do when you're surprised while eating and you open your eyes as wide as possible without changing your expression and you move your head back a little and then make that Jack Nicholson downturned mouth of appreciation while sort of squinting your opened eyes. Is that just me?

The blueberry soda was yummy, but what sugary drink isn't?

After eating and maintaining an appropriate blood sugar level (or maybe a little on the high side), I went back into Pops with my fancy camera. You know the one I took all those Bison and Prairie Dog pictures with yesterday? Oh, I should mention, I turned off the beep, so shoppers wouldn't think I was a noob, like the Bison did.

I started snapping shots of the bottles on the walls, in the cases, on shelves. I took pictures of funny bottles and serious bottles and the soda fountain area and souvenirs. And that's when I noticed the little flashing note on the LCD screen that said something like, "Hey, did you remember to take the SD card out of your laptop after blogging last night?" 

...and that reminds me of the time I was at a friend's opulent wedding...when I snapped about 100 pictures and then realized that I didn't have a memory card in my camera. 

So, I mouthed a number of swear words behind my mask and started taking one-handed pictures on my iPhone while this expensive-ass camera dangled from my other hand. Noob.

Here are said pictures.

  

And some more pictures

And souvenirs, old candies and stuff

This is candy and NOT, definitely NOT fake cigarettes for kids

 Happy Little Tree Mints

I had a lovely time, though mad about the SD card, walking around and looking at all this old and useless junk which I totally bought some of. I checked out with the same girl who sold me the blueberry soda only minutes before. I asked her how many of the sodas she tired and she said, "Um. Maybe two. I don't really like soda." And that was the moment I realized I would drive to Kansas and love every minute of it. You can't get shit like this unless you travel the long, boring roads it takes to get to the PEOPLE. 

People are what make these trips worth anything at all. Just knowing that this girl (and I say girl, but she was probably 30...or 20...I mean, now that I'm old, I can't tell people's ages anymore)...where was I, oh right, this girl who doesn't really like soda, works at a famous soda shop on the Route 66 in Arcadia Oklahoma because she needed a job and one came up. Where else was she going to work? The Round Barn down the street?!

No, really. That's a thing. Two minutes down the road, The Arcadia Round Barn. But then that's it. I drove around the neighborhood a little and the prospects are limited.

And that concluded my very first full day in Oklahoma City. Charmed by the locals, delighted by the food and with a little more appreciation for the visually same-y highways that take people like me to people like you and everyone in between. 

#teampete

#infrastructure

p.s. maybe that Pete reference was a little too deep of a cut. He's the infrastructure guy now. Roads. Oh well, I'm tired.

DAL > OKC via Wichita Mountains Wildlife Refuge

I am writing this after 8 hours on the road and a little gin (sorry mom). 

I set my alarm this morning for 8am CT (6am my body clock's time), so I could get a jump on the day and hopefully avoid the heat. Didn't work. I walked to Starbucks around 8:15am (before a shower). It was only 82 degrees out, but the humidity was 71% which is a little like waterboarding. 

I'll save you the details about my perspiration today, as I think you had your fill (if you read yesterday's blog). 

Before heading to OKC, I decided to Google, "Best of Dallas." The first search result was JFK's assassination. Really, Dallas? That's your best?

Quick side note: my brain started spinning about all the things I want to write and share and then I said out loud to myself, "this is why blogging takes you two hours." And it always does. I REALLY want to write for 10 minutes and go to bed at the end of a big travel day, but NOOOOO, I just have to share all the little bits and bobs that pop into my noggin. 

Now, I don't know why I didn't think of JFK when I booked the ticket to Dallas Love Field airport. THE airport where Kennedy's motorcade started on that fateful date. I, also, don't know why I didn't think of it, since I've listened to the 11.22.63 audiobook more times than I care to admit.

Second and a lot less relevant side note: While listening to 11.22.63 for the first time, I was making this cardboard art as a very first valentine's day gift to Krista. It still hangs in our bedroom. 

With Dealey Plaza in the GPS at only 8 minutes from my hotel, I started my journey at 9:30am this morning. 

I knew that I wouldn't be able to join a tour at the Sixth Floor Museum, as online tickets were sold out, so I parked on a random street nearby. It turns out I parked right outside the Dallas County Criminal Courts building. The same building where Jack Ruby shot John Oswald and where Clyde Barrow spent some time (before meeting Bonnie)

You might ask, "Didn't Jack Ruby shoot Oswald outside the Dallas Police Headquarters?" Yes and I believe these are the same place, because I was informed of said facts by a very friendly one-eyed potentially homeless man who rushed up to me with all sorts of facts!

So, you guys, I scored my own PERSONAL tour guide for the morning, while suckers paid for tickets to an air conditioned and totally legit museum.

I did not catch this gentleman's name, but I did tell him (while securing my mask) that I didn't have any cash on me. He was VERY kind and probably knowledgeable and walked me to every spot you could want to see on a tour of JFK's assassination. Keep in mind that my iced americano was melting in the car and I was not fully awake, while sweating profusely in the sun on this impromptu and intensely emotional tour of a President's murder. 

Anyway...there are literally x's on the ground where the shots...made impact, shall we say. That was blowing my mind (sorry. I'm so sorry.)

The photo above contains a haunting x on the ground, but also THE grassy knoll. 

My guide showed me a third shot that embedded itself in this concrete. CLEARLY the shot was from the highway and not from the book depository's location. Multiple shots were fired y'all. Conspiracies abound! (I know you can't see it, but I do...so...yeah, that's good enough for now)

No more than 5 minutes in my exceptional tour, did I let the guide go. It was just too hot to keep him in the sun for no money. But we did chat about why he was being so kind to me and how he knew so much. He really was the highlight of my morning, but I hate the heat and couldn't stay out there any longer. Back to my watered down americano and off to OKC.

If you were paying attention earlier, you might have read that I drove for 8 hours today. You also might have noticed that the above GPS estimates a 3 hour drive. "What happened?" you might ask. 

Well, that's none of your business. 

No, I'm kidding. I drove for an hour, reached the border of Texas and Oklahoma, but did not get a picture of the sign because I was on the phone with my wife at the time and didn't think wildly pulling over on a narrow shoulder would sound good over the phone, so I played it cool like I didn't mind missing a picture of the "Welcome to Oklahoma" sign, even though it broke me a little bit. Oh and after I got of the phone, I was feeling really good and really awake and my americano was almost totally gone. So, I thought about a detour. Maybe something I'd researched before traveling. 

Type type type into the GPS: Wichita Mountains Wildlife Refuge. Only what really happened is I clicked a link I'd saved for myself in my calendar of "Sites to see", which I entitled "Bison Visitor's Center" which linked to 34.710644 -98.623426. These look like Dewey Decimals to me, but my GPS knew what to do, which was to add a 2 hour sidetrack to my day. I was feeling so awake!

Yeah. I didn't check that first. 

It's a good thing Bison don't really get a day off. Long story short, I got a map out of a box on the side of the road and promptly ignored it and drove the loops until I spotted some animal refugees. 

BOOM - Bison:

BOOM - These guys:

Small Boom: Prairie Dogs. So cute!

Alan! Alan! Al! Alan!

Steve. That's Steve. 

More of these guys! Hook 'em horns!

Needless to say, I was super excited to see all of this free roaming wildlife (how American)! I took way too many pictures of Prairie Dogs and really need to figure out how to turn the beeping off on this camera because every time I focused it was like BEEP and then click or like BEEP and then another BEEP and all the animals were like "This chick doesn't know how to turn off the beep. Noob."

By this time, my americano was no longer kicking and I was starting to get a little sleepy. Beep bop boop into my GPS "Oklahoma City please" and she said, "That'll be two more hours on the road. Would you like the sleepiest, grasslandiest, sometimes corn, sometimes just dirt option? Because that's what you're going to get."

So, after roughly 8 hours of driving, when I planned on 3ish, I needed a little self care time. I checked into my LOVELY hotel and ordered room service before she even told me my room number. I put on Twister (filmed in Oklahoma), devoured a DELICIOUS flank steak, grits and greens and had one (or more) gin 'n jams, which were surprisingly refreshing. 

I will sleep well tonight!

SFO > DAL

Long time no travel, huh guys?

My mom told me to write a blog while on this trip, so that's the main reason I'm putting this down. But also, on the flight, I started listening to "Broken" by Jenny Lawson and she says she writes because she can't remember and I want to be reminded, if I can't recall.

Skipping all of my feelings on COVID for the moment, I will say that I have been on one trip in the last 17 months - to Disneyland when masks were still cool (mandated) and I felt as safe as an on-the-verge-of-agoraphobic-person might.

My work has been gracious and accommodating enough to keep us all afloat and working remotely for the duration, but plans are changing and they will likely want us in the office come September (though I'm sure they will play it by ear and listen to science and who knows what exactly will happen). But with this looming return to the office, I felt an incredible urge to take advantage while the COVID numbers were low(ish) and work from another place for a week. 

I had reserved myself two vacation days in August, assuming I would take a long weekend somewhere, but in the end decided to travel the weekend prior, work M-W from a hotel and then drive around, explore, etc Thur-Sun. 

Where to go, I asked myself, and then pulled up Google Maps and zoomed out until I could see all of the US. I've done this a number of times in the past. Spinning the globe, as it were, and picking a place at random to travel. Norway, Iceland, Barcelona, Ireland. And Europe is always my first choice (sorry Australia) because there are so many different countries and personalities to check out. I'm still not ready for Europe yet and, honestly, I don't know if Europe wants me/Americans right now. So, I limited my dreaming to the US and tried to come up with a place that I REALLY wanted to visit, but that no one else did. I say "REALLY" because if I'm going to break out of my anxiety to get on a plane with strangers and see a new city that I don't trust at all (I only trust my own house at the mo'), I better REALLY want to go.

Friends and family offered ideas. Go to Utah, see Arches and Zion. Go to Savanah. Go to North Carolina. I had my own ideas. Maybe Minnesota or Wisconsin. I sort of wanted to go there and do want to see all 50 states some day (I've already been to 36, but who's counting). 

In the end, I decided on Oklahoma City. But WHY, I hear you ask. I'll summarize.

• I watched this TED talk in 2013 and found it entertaining and interesting. 
• I liked the TV show Saving Grace, which was based in Oklahoma City
• I really wanted to be myself again and do something off-the-wall that no one would understand. I find joy in being the oddball traveler. 

So, that brings us up to today. My wife drove me to SFO airport, where I flew first class (it was only $100 more than economy and had NO frills other than a single window seat) to Dallas, TX. "Wait, I thought you were going to Oklahoma City." Didn't you just see me say that I'm the oddball traveler? If I'm going to spend 9 days away from home, I'm going to make it worth it and having a connecting flight is not my idea of a good time. Driving 3 1/2 hours to OKC after a night in a fancy pants hotel in Dallas sounds just like the slow adventure I'm looking for. All I hope to see tomorrow are fields and maybe an antelope or something. 

When I booked the tickets, which was only a few weeks ago, all COVID numbers were so low they were comforting. BUT that pesky Delta variant had to rear its ugly head and start spreading itself all about. 

Now, you know I live in California where we like to wear masks even when vaccinated and "save grandma" by not spreading COVID. We're liberal as hell and, to me, that means having a ridiculous amount of empathy for others. I knew I'd be coming from hippyland and that maybe this part of the country wouldn't be on the same page. But I did not expect to go into a restaurant to pick up my dinner and not see one mask. I did not expect to check into my hotel, which has a bustling lobby and bar with live music, and not see ONE mask. I'm confused by this, but mostly just curious. What are Texans hearing that they feel masks are not...what's the word...valuable? Are they right? Are we too cautious? I mean, I'd rather be overly cautious than not, but I also realize this is MY decision and everybody can do what they want. No one gave me funny looks, so I'm going to keep putting that thin cloth over my face on this trip and the locals can do what the locals want to do.

Anyway, I'm going to tell one funny story and then sign off for the night. I hope in the next couple of days I can convince you (and myself) that OKC is kind cool and maybe worth a visit. I hope you enjoy my evening ramblings.

--------

Storytime:

I landed in Dallas at 5pm. It was 99 degrees out. I picked up a rental car, some dinner and checked into my hotel, giving my car to the valet. After I had a bite, I realized that I only had 8oz of water with me (courtesy of Alaska Airlines) and definitely needed more, given the heat! I looked on Google Maps (a really helpful tool) and saw that two blocks away was a Wine, Spirits and More shop, so I changed into shorts and flip flops and started walking. The shop was on the same side of the road as the hotel, the shady side, but the sidewalk was closed and blocked by a very tall fence. Still there seemed to be enough room on the grass and dirt between the road and the fence to walk and not get hit by a car. I quickly realized that the tree roots were not flip flop friendly, or broken glass, but I managed to go slow and not sprain an ankle or get sliced.

When I reached the shop, gently glistening from the 90+ degree heat, I was sad to find the door was not on the street side, but rather around back near the parking lot. Not that big a deal, but I don't like being hot and just didn't wanna (imitates a toddler's fit). The place was BEAUTIFULLY air conditioned and I could have stayed in there all day. There must have been 50 customers (no masks) and 10 employees (no masks). I took a lap and decided that I should also have some gin for my troubles and picked up a small bottle for the week. I could not find water. I did make eye contact with a lovely older gentleman who worked there and asked, "Do you have water?" He was slightly surprised. I mean, who goes to "Wine, Spirits and More" for H2O? He took me to a walk-in freezer and pointed at a case of water. There were no single bottles available. I thought, "Well, I will need a lot of water during the trip and it is hot and OKC is in the 90's too. Sure, I'll take a case." When I went to pick it up by the plastic on the side of the case, it ripped a healthy strip of plastic right off, dropping the case on the ground. I hadn't done enough damage to loosen any bottles, so I picked up the case in my arms like a heavy, squirming child and somehow also gripped the gin in my fist. By the time I got to the cashier, I realized that I have to carry this half broken, heavy ass case of water back over the tree roots and shards of glass. But I talked myself up. "You got this! You're strong and capable and it's only 2 blocks." I made my purchased and head outside.

Thank goodness the cashier gave me a plastic bag with a handle to hold the gin. I looped that around my wrist and hefted the case of water onto my shoulder. I started walking, feeling very confident and thankful that the water had been in that super cold room. That was going to help get me back to the hotel and not die of heat. And that's when two water bottles fell out of the case and hit the ground. Ok, so I had to stop, pick up the bottles, which I put in the plastic bag (awesome) and repositioned the case on my shoulder long ways up, so the spot where I tore the plastic was facing the sky. By the time I reached the street (remember the door was near the parking lot), I was no longer glistening but damp and panting a little. I took my mask off of one ear to let in hang off my left ear, so I could get fresher, yet humid, air. 

Slowly, I walked over the tree roots and avoided the broken glass. I switched shoulders with the water and flung the bag of gin all around, but kept it all together. I just had to cross a small alley to get to the next sidewalk. Unfortunately, my mask, which had been looped around my ear, came a little loose, threatening to fall off. So, while crossing the street with case of water on one shoulder, bag of gin and bottles of water looped around a wrist, I tilted my head at a ridiculous angle to try to hold onto the mask with my ear (I don't know if you've ever tried to use ear muscles, but it isn't that successful). When I reached the next sidewalk, which was on the corner of the hotel, I had to stop at the bus stop and rearrange everything. By this time, I'm pouring sweat, putting the mask back on, and not looking forward to dragging my white trash ass through the lobby of this fancy hotel. I walk passed some country-club looking people and had the most brilliant idea of my life. I asked the Valet to put the case of water in my trunk (since they had my car and I had two bottles of water in the bag). She was lovely and accommodating and now I was flying high that I wouldn't have to walk through the lobby with a case of water on my shoulder. 

I went to open the door to the lobby and it just sort of wobbled, but didn't open. I tried the other door. Also wobbled. I turned around and saw a guest of the hotel and said, "Am I broken?" Which must have seemed like a fair question, considering I just gave a case of water to the valet, was pouring sweat and couldn't open a door. But he was nice and said he had the same problem earlier, and that the door sticks. Finally I made it in and up to my room, where I stripped off my drenched clothes and stood directly under the ceiling fan drinking an entire bottle of water. 

How would it feel to have Shingles?

Let me set the scene.

It's two days before your 40th birthday. You are just getting to work, excited because you have weekend plans to fly to another state and celebrate your big 4-0 with friends! A good friend already flew there. Your flights are booked (with upgraded seats). The Airbnb is booked. Rollerskating and other fun activities are planned. But something is wrong. A strange pain in your ribs. It started this morning and felt like you had a sunburn that had been scratched. You looked in the mirror to check for a bug bite or scratch, but there was nothing. When you got to work an hour later, you walked straight to the bathroom, because it felt worse and worse and there you see it. Two blotchy spots of a rash.

And this was my exact experience on July 19th. I made a doctor's appointment for 2:30pm and opened an incognito window to Google "Shingles". It sure seemed like it might be shingles but I was holding out hope that it was nothing serious and I could still go to Seattle.

From the time I got to work to the Dr's appointment, the skin on my ribs hurt more and more. I could not find a comfortable position to sit in that didn't irritate the skin. I will explain the sensation more later.

I explained to the doctor what I was feeling and that I thought it might be shingles. Before she looked at it, she winced with a face full of sympathy and said, "Yeah, it's probably shingles." And it was. She asked when I noticed the rash, because if you treat it with anti-viral medication in the first couple of days, you might be able to reduce the duration. Typical duration is 3-5 WEEKS! I was able to tell her that I actually looked this morning, saw nothing, and looked again around 10am and saw the rash. I took my first dose within 8 hours of identifying it. More on the anti-virals later. Spoiler Alert: they suck.

Let me test something out in the spirit of my "How would it feel" experiment. I have these questions in mind.

• Before: What did I think it would feel like?
• Before: What did I think I would get out of it?
• During: What did it actually feel like?
• During: What surprised me?
• After: What did I get out of it that I was/wasn't expecting?

Beforehand, I did not know what the shingles were. I felt like it was something for the elderly and was in the butt area. (Just being real folks). I never thought about shingles in my life. I never expected to get them and never heard of anyone having them.

During: What surprised me was how uncomfortable shingles are, which leads me to what did it actually feel like. With that, I want to address physical and emotional feelings.

Let's start with the Mayo Clinic's Explanation of Shingles. Any quote in this blog comes from this website.

Let me answer you the two questions EVERYONE asked me. How did you get it and is it contagious?

The shingles virus is the same as the chickenpox virus. "After you've had the chickenpox, the virus lies inactive in nerve tissue near your spinal cord and brain. Years later, the virus may reactivate as shingles." If you have shingles, you can give the chickenpox to someone who has never had it. It is recommended that you stay away from little kids, pregnant women or adults who have never had chickenpox. You cannot spread shingles. Therefore, you cannot catch shingles. It just pops up one day like an unexpected, uninvited, unwelcome, down right rude house guest. And the house is your body.

The physical sensation is nearly indescribable and I think that's why every damned website out there has this sentence, "Shingles is a viral infection that causes a painful rash." I don't know about you, but "painful rash" to me elicits zero, nothing, no ideas. I don't know what a painful rash would be. I've had itchy rashes. That's what rashes do, right?

But it's not the shingles rash that was the problem for me. It's the fact that this is nerve related. Your skin hurts. Because it is nerve related, the pain radiates away from the source (the rash or nerves near the rash). The best analogy I could come up with: It is like a painful purple sunburn. There is no way to sit comfortably and if anything touches it, even air, the nerves light up like little tiny electric waves of discomfort. At times, it feels like you're being poked/stabbed with electrified needles one at a time. Sometimes, it feels like you're having chills, but instead of it being chills of cold air, it's chills of pain over the rash.

When I saw the doctor, she warned me that the rash would spread from my two little spots and boy was she right. Within 3 days, the rash spread across my ribs on the right side of my body and around the back to my spine. The rash band was about 3 inches wide. I also told her that my pain intensity, on a scale of 0 (no pain) to 10 (hospital pain), was a 3 or 4. This would increase to a 7 or 8 within days.

When I got home that night, a Thursday, I knew this was going to be bad. I cancelled my trip to Seattle and ended up spending my shingle-y birthday at my friend's house (who flew back from Seattle early to host my sad birthday). I ended up curled up in a ball most of the time and eventually just took a nap in her spare room before going home. I did have macrons though, which were delicious (Thanks Krista!).

Now I will explain my decline.

I started taking the anti-viral pills as soon as I could. Three pills a day for ten days. But these were the biggest pills I'd ever seen, no exaggeration. I knew I'd never be able to swallow them whole. I have a hard enough time with things like Advil. The first night, I cut the pills into quarters and swallowed them down. The next day, at some point one of the pieces was maybe too big or too sticky, but got caught in my throat. My throat seized on it and I bent over to try to cough it out, but had no air, so I sort of puked it up. There was no vomit, it wasn't a puke from my stomach, but just my throat pushed that little pill out into the sink. And because I knew I needed to get that pill inside me for fear of having shingles longer, I popped that sucker back in my mouth and choked it down. But this started a psychological spiral. I believed I couldn't swallow these pills and soon enough I really couldn't. I had a few more episodes of choking on very small portions of the pill before I decided to crush them and eat them in applesauce, which was bitter and disgusting. I ended up, over the next 9 or 10 days, figuring out a ritual/formula that worked for me. Crush, crush, crush, applesauce WITH JAM, eat it as fast as possible, don't chew and done!

I was determined to take all of these pills, but I found out soon enough that I was having a bad side effect. The anti-viral pills were activating the nerve pain and spreading it from my hips to mid-chest and down my arms to my wrists. At it's worst, I couldn't move without agony and just shut my eyes, covered up with a blanket and tried to sleep it off.

Through all of this, Advil helped. And thank God, my brain believed that I could swallow Advil. And I could.

So, the pain was bad, but worse than that the pain was constant. (I'm nearly three weeks in as I write this and am still uncomfortable - level 2 or 3 pain at most.) The constant pain, even if wavering between a level 3 to a level 8 to a level 4 was exhausting and drove me up the wall. Having no relief was unbearable. I could not calm my mind about it. All I thought about was how uncomfortable I was and how I could not find a good position to sit or lay. I could not swallow pills. I felt like this would go on forever. I spun out and became sad, anxious, more anxious and more anxious.

When I was at my original Dr's appointment, I asked her, "Do you have anything for the stress?" Let me say that I do NOT like taking pills. I do not want to need anti-anxiety meds and am by no means a pill seeker, but my stress level was at a new high this year. It felt like a prolonged stress too. I had a bad, bad flu first thing in January, visited my folks in April, then I had my wedding and honeymoon in June, a weekend trip to Cleveland to visit 40 relatives, and my 40th birthday in July. Even if it was "good stress" like traveling or a wedding, it still stresses the body. The Doc gave me Lorazepam, which took the edge off during those particularly terrible days. (CBD Oil also helped *legal in CA)

Getting back to my question: What surprised me? The whole thing! I didn't expect to get shingles. I didn't expect the type of pain or the duration. But it's not over yet. I went for a follow up appointment on Monday (yesterday) and my doc said I have about another 10 days of this before I'm back to myself.

I think it's still too "during" to talk about the "after" of this horrible experiment, so stay tuned.

And if this was boring or gross, just wait. The subjects of these posts will change (and be more positive).

This is 40: My Year of Experiments

Hi everybody. I know this was a travel blog for my major trips, but I'm thinking about doing an experiment. Or rather, a year worth of experiments.

When I was in my 20s, a friend of mine did a project for herself where she took a picture of her bed every morning for a year. I did 365 days of happiness (more on this later).

It feels like ages since I've had a year-long project.

Now that I am 40 (hopefully twice as good as my 20th year), I am thinking about doing a year's worth of experiments with the premise “What would it feel like if…?”. The thought being that, for a year, I would run experiments for different lengths of time (weekly, monthly, etc) testing things out to see how it feels. Here are some examples of what I’m thinking.

What would it feel like if I used lotion for a month
What would it feel like if I had shingles for a month (THIS experiment happened without my provocation)
What would it feel like if I took Gabapentin for two weeks?
What would it feel like if I took an antiviral for 10 days?
What would it feel like if I walked to BART rather than drove to BART for a month?
What would it feel like if I cut out processed foods for a month?
What would it feel like if I did push-ups every night before bed for a month?
What would It feel like if I made a personal phone call every day for a month?
What would it feel like if I sent a postcard every day for a month?
What would it feel like if I meditated for 20 minutes everyday for a month?
What would it feel like if I flossed everyday for a month?
What would it feel like if I focused on looking up or looking down?
What would it feel like to watch a Khan Academy video everyday?

My idea is to ask a question and document it. Say what I feel beforehand, what I expect to feel during, and what I feel afterwards. What are the changes I noticed? What are the changes I expected but didn’t notice? Do I want to continue something to extend the duration of x benefit?

Just by thinking "how would it feel", I’m already noticing a change. I've had to open my mind to come up with "experiments" that I don’t already do now, that I’d be willing to try, that I believe will have positive outcomes.

This reminds me of the 100 Days of Happiness phenomenon. I was feeling down in the dumps and decided to post one good thing a day on Facebook for 100 days. I thought it would be nice to find at least something good everyday. What I didn't expect is that by looking for something good everyday, I ended up looking for something good ALL THE TIME. And even after I posted a good thing, I'd keep looking for an even better thing. When the 100 days were up, I decided to extend it to a full year because my overall happiness had increased tremendously since day one and I didn't want it to stop.

Side note: Bad things happened during those 365 days. A good friend passed away. My grandmother passed away. Coming up with something happy on those days was hard, but HAVING to find something good those days was mood altering. Instead of wallowing in sadness, looking for only sad things, I had to (if only for a few minutes) broaden my mind and look for something good. "I had a root beer today" was one of those posts. It didn't turn my whole day around, but it might have stopped the slippery slope into depression. Knowing that I could find happiness in very dark times was and continues to be valuable.

Coming back to the year-long experiment...I feel like even the act of thinking up experiments has opened my mind. It makes me think how many things can I do that are new and how many experiences I was going to have anyway would be enhanced by asking the question "How would this make me feel" or "what can I gain from this?"

Krista and I booked tickets to travel to Yellowstone and now I’m asking the question "How would it feel to camp for five days?" I know when I camped for two days my level of cleanliness decreased, because you just get used to being dirty. I know that my mind slowed down, because I didn't need to do something every five minutes. What else will I learn?

If nothing else, this mindset is the experiment. How aware can I be this year? What can I learn from being so aware and from trying new things? What will surprise me?

I'm open to it. I'm up for it.

If you are too, feel free to follow along.

2017 going on 2018

Things I've learned in the last year or so (in no particular order):

• If I blog on a vacation, I never get around to writing about the last day of the trip.
• My metabolism has officially given out, teaching me that loose shirts are a wonderful and flattering thing.
• Disneyland can help you recover from mild depressive episodes brought on by politics, news and/or celebrity death.
• Iceland is not always freezing, but it doesn't typically get hotter than 70 degrees F.
• Norway is full of trees, generally beautiful and has an amazingly long coastline.
• I should always read the price of a hotel room thoroughly. "Per person" is a nasty thing to find out later.
• Holding on tight to bad feelings, in the hopes of squashing them into nothing, will not make you feel better. Letting go is a much smarter option.
• Settlers of Catan is a fantastic game. So is Ticket to Ride, Stratego and Exploding Kittens (I'm still not sure about Bears vs Babies).
• As I get older, my body starts to feel worse in strange ways (numb/tingling limbs for one). Physical therapy is a life saver, but I need to maintain a strict practice of strength and flexibility training so I can extend my "good years" as long as possible.
• I am officially allergic to cold medicine (dextromethorphan) and even if I use alternative remedies to clear my stuffy nose, it will only make it worse over the course of the cold.
• Sudafed is my savior when I'm sick.
• I love my job. I love it so much that I find ways to do the same work in my personal life.
• Asking, "Why am I this way," is maybe the wrong question. "How can I be better?" is more forward thinking. The past got me here, but is not worth giving valuable "now" energy.
• Reading is so important. I read only two books this year and though I listened to many, many interesting audio books, there is nothing like reading to give you focus, open your mind, teach you new words, expand your imagination, distract you from yourself or general crap (Facebook, news, fake news, etc.)...
• For the fluffiest, yummiest scrambled eggs add salt to the raw eggs for 10 minutes before cooking, also add milk for creaminess and cook on a low/medium heat.
• It's the sugar in crepe batter that makes them brown up real nice.
• QVC is a lovely, mindless (yet entertaining) thing to leave on in the background and they stream three channels.
• Index Funds are a good thing to invest in.
• In my 20's, I generally hung out with my two closest male friends (affectionately known as "the boys"). In my 30's, most of them anyway, I spent a lot of time alone or trying to be alone with the occasional female friend here and there. Now that I'm rounding out my 30's, I'm spending a lot more time saying "yes" to friend-time and "yes" to being friends with women. I don't know what I'm learning from that yet, but it feels a lot more collaborative, supportive, soul quenching (does that sound right?).
• I enjoy Bordeaux or Cotes du Rhone.
• I enjoy gin gimlets on the rocks or straight up with lemon syrup and sage.
• You can have 40lb boxes of cat litter delivered to your house with free delivery (if you have Amazon Prime) and save your back the pain of lugging it around the store or in and out of your car.
• Cupping may leave bruises on your back that look like constellations, but it's worth it!
• Also worth it, spending $100 to fly to Portland, Seattle or LA to catch up with good/old friends for the weekend.
• I miss writing.
• I am a pretty good dancer, especially in the kitchen.
• Camping is great, when everybody splits ownership of meals and the weather is perfect.
• And finally -- I love talking to strangers. Hearing their life story in an hour or two. The highlights or low lights they chose to share. Love it!